The Phobia of all Phobias!

Warning: If you suffer from emetophobia you may want to skip over the next paragraph as it may cause you undue stress. But do persist in reading to the end  – it may just make a huge difference to your future happiness!

Vomiting, being sick,  puking, chundering, spewing, throwing up, chucking up, heaving, gagging …

These are terms for vomiting that I pulled from the top of my head, though I am sure there are many more if I put the request for some out on Facebook. For most of us there is an almost comical element to the act of being sick. But, almost unbelievably, for about three million mainly, but by no means exclusively, women in the UK (so goodness knows how many worldwide) the mere mention of vomit would induce intensely negative reactions which were seriously life inhibiting.

Emetophobia – also known as a fear of vomiting – tends to be a secret phobia. Those who suffer tend not to tell anyone about it, normally out of anxiety or embarrassment. And it can also be probably the worse phobia you could possibly have. If you have a fear of flying, you can avoid travelling on a plane. If you have a fear of dogs, you simply don’t get a dog (and avoid Altinkum’s streets!)

But emetophobia seeps into every single area of your life. You avoid alcohol because the last thing you want is the churning stomach of a hangover. You are scrupulously clean and avoid anyone who may be sick, because the last thing you want to catch is any vomit inducing bug. You are sensitive to the slightest twinge and gurgle of your stomach, frantically worried that something may lead to you being sick. You avoid going to certain places or doing certain activities simply because you are afraid of being caught out in an unfamiliar place. You develop obsessive compulsive tendencies as this reassures you that you are doing your utmost to guarantee a vomit free environment. You may even be morbidly afraid of dying, and spiralling into depression because you are so convinced that the slightest retch is a sign of worse to come.

Emetophobia can even be masked by a myriad of other phobias – each endeavouring to enable you to maintain a high degree of control over your environment to avoid any situation that could make you sick.

The chances are that every single person who reads this article probably knows someone who suffers to a greater or lesser degree from emetophobia – they just don’t know it. Three million people in the UK alone is a significant number of people who are living severely limited lives purely and simply because they are not managing their thinking well.

And that is what it is all about – managing your thinking.

The good news is, that every phobia, no matter how severe, how debilitating, how well entrenched over the years, can be overcome simply by managing your thinking better. Just like building muscle tone, it takes time, it takes patience and practice. But once it all clicks into place the feeling of liberation and release is fantastic.

If you are suffering from this hugely debilitating imposition on your life, contact me on In just six sessions of Thrive (no hypnotherapy involved at all!) you will gain a much deeper understanding of WHY you have these feelings, and what YOU can do to rid yourself of them, once and for all. Sessions are also available both on Skype, or as a week long residential course here in Turkey.

Don’t Let Your Inner ‘Twit’ Control Your Life

Let Thrive show you how to take control of your thoughts

I have recently been re-reading some of Roald Dahl’s stories with my seven year old son, and hooting at the antics of that rather repulsive couple, The Twits. I couldn’t help thinking though what kind of life Mrs Twit might have had if she had gone through a course of Thrive when she was younger.

Now Mrs Twit had a ‘fearful ugliness’. But as Dahl was quick to point out, she was not born ugly, she had actually had a nice face when she was younger. She had grown uglier the older she got, and Dahl had a very profound explanation for this. He wrote:

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it.

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

Now Mrs Twit is a particularly repulsive character being used by Dahl for comic effect, but his words are very wise and we would do well to remember them in the context of the Thrive programme. When someone walks into my office who has all the physical attributes of a successful attractive person, yet their whole body language and spoken language is negative and depressive and cloaked in failure and doom and ugliness, then I just know that their mismanaged ugly thoughts are compelling them to don their ‘ugly’, ‘shit-tinted’ spectacles. When turned onto one-self, these shit tinted glasses can have significantly negative effects on the way you feel about yourself, the way you feel about other people, and ultimately about the way you feel about life as a whole.

As we all know and experience at times, the more negative you feel about life, the more difficult it seems to extricate yourself from that downward spiral. As Lyobomirsky and Tkach (2004) so eloquently put it in their research, – “Numerous studies over the past two decades have shown that repetitive ruminations about the implications of one’s depressive symptoms actually maintains those symptoms, impairs one’s ability to solve problems, and ushers in a host of negative consequences.”

The younger, prettier Mrs Twit had so many ugly thoughts about herself and life in general, that her self esteem only allowed her to marry a man she thought she deserved – the ‘foul and smelly’ Mr Twit. And together they perpetuated each other’s ugly approach to life. Their only ‘joy’ in life was to play cruel and disgusting tricks on each other.

Poor Mrs Twit. You can only imagine how her younger, prettier self may well have once dreamed of leading a happy life. But for those caught in a whirlpool of negativity and stress and anxiety, any chance of happiness can only seem like an increasingly unattainable concept. And once on that slippery slope it is easier to just keep slipping down into a depressed and self-flagellating pool, than it is to stand tall and fight it.

And so you get caught in the vicious circle of unhappy, negative, depressive thoughts, feelings of powerlessness, feeling physically and mentally tired, anxious, stressed and unable to cope, and too weak and unmotivated to do anything about it. As a result your immune system is weakened, and opens you up to every bug and virus going. (Anybody who wants to look into the mind-body connection need just Google psychneuroimmunology, PNI).

So don’t be a Mrs Twit and let those ugly thoughts take control and ruin your life (and looks!). You can be powerful over your own thoughts, and the Thrive programme is uniquely positioned to make you understand why, and how you can take control.