Yo-yo Dieting – Why oh why?

FAILED BROKEN DIETS – CONSTANT DISAPPOINTMENT IN YOURSELF – SCALES THAT HAVE GONE UP AND DOWN YEAR IN YEAR OUT – INCESSANT SELF LOATHING – YO-YO DIETING – BINGE EATING – COMFORT EATING – INSIDIOUS WINE CONSUMPTION………

Have you ever considered that your weight issues are nothing to do with food and exercise, but the psychological barriers you inadvertently build to ‘protect’ yourself. Probably many of you know this to be the case, but doing something about it seems impossible. In fact, when it comes to your weight, you are feeling pretty powerless.

Do any of the following situations apply to you:
You can’t just have one biscuit, you have to have the whole packet! If you break your diet, you might as well not bother continuing at all – it’s already ruined! You might as well scoff for the rest of the day/week/weekend!
You are feeling a low, or stressed, so the only way you’re going to feel better is if you eat a bar of chocolate, or a glass of wine, NOW! (This is a strong trait for those who comfort eat).
OMG! Why did I have that piece of chocolate cake???!!! I’ve COMPLETELY ruined my diet. I’m going to put on soooooo much weight. I’m a COMPLETE AND UTTER failure.

If these sound familiar, now is the time to GROWiT – Get Rid of Weight Issues & Thrive!
This specially formulated online training programme is based on the Rob Kelly Thrive Programme, and teaches you the fundamental psychological reasons WHY you are constantly going through these vicious weight loss-gain-loss cycles. Once you have that understanding, you learn skills and techniques to help you ‘grow’ strength and resilience that will not only help you lose weight, but which will also have a profound effect on all other areas of your life. In short, you will start to THRIVE!

This is NOT a diet and weight loss programme. This is about getting a grip on your thinking, and applying it to those areas in your life where you feel powerless and out of control.

If you are interested in hearing more, email me on hypnotherapyinturkey@hotmail.com, and I will send you further information, costs and instructions on how to join the programme.

Let Your Cup Brimmeth Over!

Has anyone ever seen Didim so busy this early on in April before? I can honestly say that I have never started a summer season as shattered as I have been these last few weeks – and the season has not even officially started yet!
But it is a good ‘shattered’. It is a ‘shattered’ that is full of positive energy, excitement for what the future will bring, and ensuring every cloud is fitted with the best silver lining available.
It is very easy to talk Didim down. It is very easy to look at everything from a negative standpoint. In fact, the more negative you are, the more you will only see the negative. Even when something positive happens, it will only be the negative connotations that you pick up on.
Negative thinking is a self perpetuating behaviour. When something bad happens, negative thinkers are almost beside themselves with (miserable) joy as the negative consequences just reinforce their negative prophesising.
(Crikey, I am in danger of bringing myself down just writing all this!).
I am sure you have all got ‘friends’ you would rather avoid – the ones that suck any joy, energy, passion, hope and excitement out of life. They may initially be quite amusing in a wry, cynical way… for about five minutes. Anything longer than this has me walking out the door without a backward glance.
Conversely, people choose to think negatively because it actually gives them a sense of control over their lives. They think bad things will happen. Bad things happen (because life does have a habit of throwing the brown stuff at us sometimes!). Hence their predictions about their life being so hard come true. They were right to be negative all along! Thinking in this way makes their lives more predictable (if somewhat miserable) and they feel slightly better being in control.
So why is that so wrong? Surely it is better that they ‘feel’ in control… better than feeling ‘out of control’, surely?
Unfortunately that sense of control is merely an illusion. We all know things can go wrong, but expecting the worst does not help you to build up resilience. It is our ability to ‘bounce back’, to apply resilience in the face of adversity that makes us strong thriving, in control, individuals.
The research paper by Hebert (1996) states:
“Researchers have explained resilience in terms of hardiness, and proposed that hardy individuals have a strong commitment to self, are willing to take action and to deal with problems, have a positive attitude toward their environment, have a strong sense of purpose, and develop a strong internal locus of control which enables them to see life’s obstacles as challenges that can be overcome.”
Negative thinking enables people to psychologically protect themselves against potential failure or rejection. If they believe nothing good will happen, then they will not be disappointed.
What you might not realise is that negative thinking is a choice, not a trait. It simply takes a bit of constant applied effort to choose to think more positively, and there are some really effective techniques that can be applied to help achieve this.
I have always seen my own life as a glass neither half full nor half empty, but as positively overflowing with possibilities. Things go wrong. Work, relationships, life in general does not always go the way I want it too. But at every blip (and there can be several a day) I choose to take a positive stance.
It is not that I am in control of what is happening to me, rather that I am more in control of how I think about things that are happening around me. This helps me to deal more effectively with external factors which are beyond my control, and therefore have a much stronger, deeper and more resilient handle on those things that affect me closely.
I am managing my thinking in a positive, helpful and resilient way.
So many of the conditions that we treat with medication are a direct result of the way we think, the way we mismanage our thinking – depression, fatigue syndromes such as ME and CFS, debilitating fears, phobias and anxieties, problems with addictions, obesity… all these life limiting (ie they limit the way in which you lead your life) are exacerbated by negative, paranoid, obsessive, catastrophic, perfectionist styles of thinking (to name but a few).
You CAN learn to think differently, more positively. Realising that is the first step to getting back on track to a full, and happy, life.

Don’t Let Your Inner ‘Twit’ Control Your Life

Let Thrive show you how to take control of your thoughts

I have recently been re-reading some of Roald Dahl’s stories with my seven year old son, and hooting at the antics of that rather repulsive couple, The Twits. I couldn’t help thinking though what kind of life Mrs Twit might have had if she had gone through a course of Thrive when she was younger.

Now Mrs Twit had a ‘fearful ugliness’. But as Dahl was quick to point out, she was not born ugly, she had actually had a nice face when she was younger. She had grown uglier the older she got, and Dahl had a very profound explanation for this. He wrote:

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it.

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

Now Mrs Twit is a particularly repulsive character being used by Dahl for comic effect, but his words are very wise and we would do well to remember them in the context of the Thrive programme. When someone walks into my office who has all the physical attributes of a successful attractive person, yet their whole body language and spoken language is negative and depressive and cloaked in failure and doom and ugliness, then I just know that their mismanaged ugly thoughts are compelling them to don their ‘ugly’, ‘shit-tinted’ spectacles. When turned onto one-self, these shit tinted glasses can have significantly negative effects on the way you feel about yourself, the way you feel about other people, and ultimately about the way you feel about life as a whole.

As we all know and experience at times, the more negative you feel about life, the more difficult it seems to extricate yourself from that downward spiral. As Lyobomirsky and Tkach (2004) so eloquently put it in their research, – “Numerous studies over the past two decades have shown that repetitive ruminations about the implications of one’s depressive symptoms actually maintains those symptoms, impairs one’s ability to solve problems, and ushers in a host of negative consequences.”

The younger, prettier Mrs Twit had so many ugly thoughts about herself and life in general, that her self esteem only allowed her to marry a man she thought she deserved – the ‘foul and smelly’ Mr Twit. And together they perpetuated each other’s ugly approach to life. Their only ‘joy’ in life was to play cruel and disgusting tricks on each other.

Poor Mrs Twit. You can only imagine how her younger, prettier self may well have once dreamed of leading a happy life. But for those caught in a whirlpool of negativity and stress and anxiety, any chance of happiness can only seem like an increasingly unattainable concept. And once on that slippery slope it is easier to just keep slipping down into a depressed and self-flagellating pool, than it is to stand tall and fight it.

And so you get caught in the vicious circle of unhappy, negative, depressive thoughts, feelings of powerlessness, feeling physically and mentally tired, anxious, stressed and unable to cope, and too weak and unmotivated to do anything about it. As a result your immune system is weakened, and opens you up to every bug and virus going. (Anybody who wants to look into the mind-body connection need just Google psychneuroimmunology, PNI).

So don’t be a Mrs Twit and let those ugly thoughts take control and ruin your life (and looks!). You can be powerful over your own thoughts, and the Thrive programme is uniquely positioned to make you understand why, and how you can take control.