My daughter came up with that classic question the other night –
“Mum, would you rather be stupid and beautiful, or clever and ugly?”
So how would you have answered?
My standard answer to this has always been –
“Well lucky for me I am both gorgeous AND clever!”
Except on those days when I feel ugly and stupid of course!
But she didn’t accept that, and as the conversation progressed, I did admit that actually, I think I’d rather be beautiful and stupid. If only because I wouldn’t need to think that deeply about not being intelligent!
But is that the right lesson to be teaching my daughter.
Intelligent people are, by their very nature, thinkers.
And if you’re reading this email it is probably because you are an intelligent person who ruminates on life a fair amount.
And the trouble with rumination, is it can lead to depression and anxiety (and there’s plenty of evidence to back this up too).
So being ugly and clever could actually mean that you overthink your ugly role in life to the point that you become depressed.
Where am I going with this?
Well I don’t actually like to classify people as clever or stupid – rather there are those of a fixed mindset, and those of a growth mindset.
And those with a fixed mindset will keep hitting brick walls in life, and find to more and more difficult to pick themselves up, or move forward and try different tactics.
And if they are ‘intelligent’ then they won’t want to fail because they won’t want to look stupid – so they don’t even try! And if they’re ‘short of a few brain cells’, you can bet your bottom dollar that they’ve been labelled this all their lives, so feel it impossible to change and improve their intelligence by – you’ve guessed it – challenging themselves and putting in some effort.
So depression and anxiety is a common affliction.
Those with a growth mindset – they take every knock as a reason to get up again. They demonstrate psychological resilience to face whatever life throws at them, and learn from it.
And the good news – your mindset is just a belief system, and can be changed.
And it can be changed pretty much immediately!
By learning emotional intelligence and psychological resilience.
Need I say more….>
Kate ‘I think that ALL women are beautiful’ Ashley-Norman